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Prince Siddartha Gautama was married. He left his wife and son to seek enlightenment and an end of suffering. One day Siddartha sat under the Bodi Tree and conquered Mara (illusion) and bingo … NIRVANA. From that moment on when he reached enlightenment … Siddartha was called The Buddha meaning the enlightened one. In the nearly 3000 years since Buddha taught the 4 noble truths and the 8-fold path … it is not clear that he returned to the old life, wife, and child.

So … Kasl applies Buddhist tenants to marriage .. even though the Buddha himself renounced the attachment to a romantic relationship that often is the cause of so much suffering.

Great book but Kasl isn’t married so I’m not sure if it has worked for her.
Rating: 3 / 5

I have mixed feelings about this book. Some of the information was useful – particularly the actual Buddhist thoughts/beliefs and tips on putting these ideas into action in your life and relationships. But the book seriously faltered (for me) with some of the case studies and personal accounts of other couples. Very surface level issues, folks! And pretty cheeseball ways of communicating, IMO.

I was hoping for something richer and deeper, a la Pema Chodron or Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche. What I got was couples with petty issues (”He doesn’t take out the trash when he says he will,” “She wants to go out to dinner but I want to stay home and watch a movie”), which left me wondering if that’s honestly the best she could get. I really don’t need to read about couples who have been together for 25 years who can’t resolve those types of conflict (like most in the book).

Maybe it’s just me, or maybe I’ve just read more books on relationships, or maybe my relationship is just different, or whatever, but I kind of felt the book was for relationship amateurs. It would have been helpful when I was maybe 22 and in my first real relationship dealing with petty issues and taking them too seriously. But those couples whose relationships are intense and deep might fare better elsewhere, book-wise.
Rating: 3 / 5

I just wanted anyine interested in this book to know that one major complaint (that the Buddah DID marry and subsequently left his wife and son) is addressed on page 4 of the book, which you can read right here on the 9th page of the sample pages. Perhaps the title would have been more accurate if it read “If the Buddah Married After Becomming Enlightened”, but that hardly seems to merit the deduction of 2 stars.
Rating: 4 / 5

I picked up this book when my husband and I were having difficulties in our second year. We were missing many of the ideas in this book, particularly being mindful of each other’s and our own needs. This book helped us get back on track and we saved our marriage. Two years later, we are much stronger than before and have a beautiful son too. It is a good book for us to keep handy too for the occasional refresher.

Other critiques are correct. There is not much serious Buddhist philosophy and it doesn’t mention Buddha’s family life, but the lessons are very helpful nonetheless.
Rating: 5 / 5

My fiance and I read this book together. We both enjoyed the style of writing and the “sense” it made of so many common mistakes and misunderstandings. It was not only useful for partner related relationships, but was also a great guide for all life relationships. Definitely enjoyable
Rating: 4 / 5